shatterverse | (no subject)

Current Location: Somewhere in Europe

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There is a flash.

There is a bang.

There is now a pigeon coop where one had previously not been.

There is also a strangely dressed man apparently running around in circles screaming hysterically, while a few inhabitants of the aforementioned pigeon coop look notably alarmed.

Particularly the white one.

Who is being clutched rather fiercely by the also aforementioned strangely dressed man.

For this, this is not a rooftop in New York, New York.

It is, apparently, rather alarming.

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There is a dark blue convertible BMW 6-series cruising down the road that just happens to be nearby. It slows as it approaches before coming to a complete halt just by the pigeon coop.

A young girl, no more than eighteen years old, leans a delicate pale elbow on the open driver's window and peers out.

"Are you lost?"

Franz, as it appears, is quite bad at noticing things.

So he takes notice of that convertible only when it stops, sending him whirling around in surprise. Cue a stunned look.

Nearby, pigeons coo.

Then, an outburst: "MY BUILDING IS GONE."

Clearly, he doesn't note that the other buildings around his building are gone as well. As is the entirety of New York.

The girl in the car sighs, and shakes her head, flicking straight copper coloured hair against her gentle cheekbones.

"I'm sure your building is still there. It's you who has been displaced."

BUT...BUT!

His birds are here! Clearly, that means that it's just the building that went missing!

Except...

Huh. There aren't any other buildings around.

Thinky wheels turn very, very slowly in that brain.

"Then...then vhere am I?" he asks, much more resigned than before.

"I don't read the language on the signs," she says, and lifts the shoulder nearest him in a small resigned gesture. "It's not my world, I'm afraid."

"Oh."

...

Moments pass.

"Who brought me here?"

He almost seems genuinely confused.

And then...

"IT VAS THE BRITISH! The British vith their lies and their tea and their lying speeches!"

You'd better stop him, dear. He could go on for days, if you let him go on undistracted.

Red doesn't stop him. She sits for a few seconds, listening to him.

"They sound awful," she agrees.

Her accent, should it not have been mentioned before, is impeccably English.

:O!

:D!

"Oh, fräulein, you agree!"

He does not particularly notice the accent.

"Der Führer would be so proud!"

He also sounds outright doting. It's...rather disturbing. Perhaps it's because no one ever agrees with him.

"Oh, yes."

Ruby red lips curl slowly into a charming smile.

"Whyever would I not?"

No reason!

Because, clearly, he is right, and the rest of the world has always been delusional. Until her.

:D!

"Oh, Adolf!" he says, clutching the white bird in his arms tighter. "Someone understands!"

You can practically see the little hearts floating over his head, as he nods to Red approvingly.

"You vould make a great Nazi!"

Does she want to join?

"Would I now?"

She tilts her head to the right so much that her bobbed hair falls past her shoulder.

"What's a Nazi?"

He nods. Eagerly.

"You vould!"

And then, a gasp.

"You haven't heard about the Nazi Party?"

But clearly, everyone has!

Hand over heart as he gives his heartwarming speech: "Ve are the followers of Adolf Hitler, Der Führer! A kind and gentle man, so noble! A great artist, oh how I miss his paintings..."

Then, back to the frenzy of earlier. "But everyone misunderstands him! They say Der Führer vas evil! THEY WERE BRAINVASHED BY THE BBC! British lies and..."

...on and on and on...

"How terrible," the girl says with obvious pity. "Whyever would they demonise you so?"

He stops.

Pouts.

"I don't know," he says, in a pathetically sad voice.

Except -- wait! He does know why!

"Hitler was just misunderstood!"

No, srsly!

"So many people are," the girl allows. "Look at the horrible things they say about King John."

Franz is confused.

"King John? Who is that?"

He sounds genuinely confused. And rather callous. Because this girl is Nazi material, he can trust her.

"The King of my homeland," she replies sweetly, tossing her hair lightly. "People say the most terrible things, how he chops off the heads of women he didn't want to marry, or about how his bridge tolls are unfair to the goats."

"Oh."

...

"Veird."

...

Franz doesn't care. He has Adolf to worry about. Adolf, who is busy cooing in his arms.

"Uhm. Can you take me home?"

"Perhaps," she says. "Where is your home?"

"New York, New York," he says simply. Considers.

Pigeons coo.

"Although I have friends in Argentina."

"Oh," says Red, sounding rather disappointed as she taps a painted nail to her lower lip. "I don't know where those places are."

"Oh."

More silence, then Franz comes to a decision. A decision that involves taking all his birds out of his coop and onto one very long resting pole.

"Then let's go find them!"

And so he marches over to the car.

Beware, Red. Do you want a more than slightly insane Nazi fanatic singing rather odd German songs for hours on end in your car with his whole flock of pigeons cooing along?

Her pencilled eyebrows arch suddenly.

"Wait! You didn't say anything about birds!"

Of course he didn't. It's a given.

"But they are my best friends!"

The pigeons coo happily in response.

"And they sing vith me!"

More cooing.

Red's right hand slides down out of sight where she's sitting.

"No birds," she says. "Not in my car."

"But...but..."

D:

D: D: D: D: D:

FRANZ IS NOT HAPPY.

Neither, it must be said, is Red Riding Hood.

"Nasty, dirty things. Not in my car."

She's being meeeean.

Sadness.

But even Franz knows he needs a lift, seeing that he's kind of in the middle of nowhere at the moment.

"FINE. They can follow. But you," he sneers, "vill never insult my darlings ever again!"

Her small chin lifts, all pleasantness gone.

"I do believe, dear sir, that you are in no position to tell me what to do."

But they're his birds!

And this? This is his gun, that's pulling out. A classic German Luger.

"Ja, I am," he challenges, all adorably defiant and all.

This is Little Red Riding Hood's shiny silver P99. And she's not brandishing it. She whips it straight out of the window and fires it at his gun hand.

There's a sharply little-girlish scream as Franz drops his gun to clutch at his suddenly bloody hand. Because ow. Ow. PAIN.

"MY HAND! YOU SHOT MY HAND!"

Meanwhile, pigeons flutter around madly, taking off. Of course, Franz notices this.

"WAAAAIT! Otto! Bertha! Wolfgang! ADOOOOOLF!"

Flail flail running-around-in-circles-bleeding-a-lot flail.

Red says nothing. Because she's too busy winding the window closed and starting the engine again.

By the time he calms down, she'll be dust on the horizon.

[OOC: Oh my god, you're my new hero. AND THE ORIGINAL FRANZ, TOO. <33333333333]

[ooc: DEUTSCHLAND DEUTSCHLAND UUUUBER ALLES!]

[*ALSO HUGS LOTS* Hee.]

[*HUGS LOTS* :D]

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