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[alwaysroomforhope]

Dear Diary...

Steph sighs and puts her diary back down on her lap. She's watching Hana and Loo play out in front of the farmhouse. They're happily occupied with seeing who can cough the biggest fireball, and Steph is, therefore, lightly scorched. Luckily, the girls are more excited by explosions these days than by burning people, and they're now contentedly playing with each other.

Steph's smiling at them, because they're adorable. But that's all she has to smile about. The journal on her lap is still blank, and she's chewing her pen thoughtfully. (She has not yet noticed that she's chewed through the end and therefore now has a blue ink-stained lip. It's the newest fashion, bb.)

Comments

[twiceahero.livejournal.com]

There's a soft creak as a wheelchair rolls to a stop behind Steph. Barbara's eyes sweep across the tension in the girl's shoulders (even if 'girl' isn't really all that accurate anymore). She doesn't know what happened, but somewhere along the way she stopped being one of the people Steph went to to unburden herself.

Babs sits quietly. Watching. Wondering what she should say.

[alwaysroomforhope]

Steph turns sharply almost before there's any noise, and doesn't relax much when she sees who it is.

(If it weren't for the girls, she might run away.)

"Hi, O."

She doesn't smile. She doesn't expect this to be a conversation with much reason for smiling.

[twiceahero.livejournal.com]

Not 'Babs'. It's been a while since Steph's called her that...

"Hey, Steph."

Babs seems content to sit in silence for the moment, simply letting her eyes take in Steph's expression and posture.

[alwaysroomforhope]

Which doesn't make Steph much more comfortable, stiff-backed and frowning and tense, lips pressed together.

She always feels like she's about fourteen again in front of Oracle, a stupid newbie vigilante with more eagerness than skill and everything to prove. It's not a comfortable feeling, when she's only just started to feel like she's earned being nineteen.

"...you can start yelling any time you like, if you want to get it over with."

[twiceahero.livejournal.com]

Barbara's face twitches in what might be an expression, but she gets herself under control before there's much of a chance to tell.

"Is that what you think I'm hear to do?" she asks softly.

[alwaysroomforhope]

"I don't know," Steph says quietly, turning back to watch the girls, resting her chin in her hands.

She'd been so upset about Babs, about losing herself, about becoming her dad, about giving up her identity as a bat-kid. But ... then Sokka had to burn his own sister, and it doesn't seem as important right now as it did.

"I don't know much of anything any more."

[twiceahero.livejournal.com]

"Welcome to life," Barbara says softly. Not quite bitterly.

[alwaysroomforhope]

Steph manages a half-smile for that.

Loo comes running up to tug on the charred hem of Steph's jeans. "Soffaaaaaa, look! Look!"

"I'm looking," Steph promises, smile suddenly real, and Loo does a creditable imitation of hacking up a lung and singes an impressive amount of grass.

"Biiiig!" she tells Steph excitedly, and turns to make sure Babs knows too. "Big big big!"

Steph laughs and kisses her head.

[twiceahero.livejournal.com]

Steph isn't watching so Babs doesn't bother forcing a smile of her own. She doesn't smile much these days, and it's getting harder to pretend she does.

"You want to talk about it?" she keeps her voice soft as she splits her attention between Loo's admittedly adorable antics and Steph.

[alwaysroomforhope]

Steph lets Loo run back to show Hana her big big big fire, but she doesn't turn around, tense and defensive. She can't look at Babs right now - not if she's going to pretend that this really doesn't matter to her.

"Is there anything to talk about?" she asks quietly.

[twiceahero.livejournal.com]

"Steph, ignoring it isn't going to make it go away."

...

Barbara Gordon may have just secured her position as the biggest hypocrite of all time with that one right there.

[alwaysroomforhope]

Steph turns back to glance at her, one eyebrow raised in a very Sokka-esque way.

"I'm not ignoring anything - I'm not. It' s just - I just - there's just not much to say about it, O."

[twiceahero.livejournal.com]

As long as she's on the hypocrisy train, she might as well keep on riding it.

"Talking helps. Just saying it out loud."

[alwaysroomforhope]

"I know," Steph says, looking back at the girls, smiling at them. "I've been trying to convince Sokka of that all week."

The hypocrisy train is fun! Steph is gonna jump right on behind Babs. TOOT TOOT!

"What do you want to say to me?"

[twiceahero.livejournal.com]

Babs snorts in something that almost sounds like amusement. "It doesn't work that way, and you know it."

She shakes her head. "Don't make me go get my emergency stash of chunky monkey."

[notanoptimist.livejournal.com]

Now Steph has a boyfriend on the step next to her, also watching Hana and Loo play, and smiling faintly for it.

"Hey," he says and doesn't peek over her shoulder at what she's written (much). "How're they doing?"

[alwaysroomforhope]

Steph holds up one ankle to show off the charred hem of her jeans. "They're in perfect shape," she says, wriggling over to lean against him, glad for that tiny smile. Sokka should always have babies to play with and to make him smile.

-- Steph's thoughts have a worrying tendency to go in this direction lately; it's enough to make her wonder ...

She squeezes his hand and smiles at the girls, too.

"Hana's getting really good at controlling it."

[notanoptimist.livejournal.com]

His laugh is automatic, just like the way he reaches to finger her jeans, grinning. "Oh crap, you didn't get burned, though, did you?"

As for Hana getting good control, his littlest niece gets a bigger grin. He's so proud of them sometimes he could burst.

[alwaysroomforhope]

"Nope, I dodge quick." Steph grins. "And they're really careful most of the time."

She wants him to talk about it, because he always feels better after talking things out - but not if she forces him to. Besides, how would she start that conversation, anyway? So you just set fire to your undead sister who killed people... how does that feel?

Nnnnnnnnno. She'll just be extra cuddly instead and make sure he knows she'll be here when he wants to.

"I'm on duty 'cause Dean dropped by again." Which gets a grin for all the sex Mel's probably having.

[notanoptimist.livejournal.com]

Sokka nods and accepts the extra cuddly. Steph is never really subtle about it but he never really minds. It bothers him that she's upset but she doesn't try to force him to talk and he appreciates that.

And he never minds an armful of Steph.

The reasons for her babysitting are reacted to with a sigh and an eyeroll, though. "I guess she must have seen him after I did. How long have you been watching the twins?"

How long does he have before it's safe to enter the bunker again.

[alwaysroomforhope]

"Ah, we'll give them a little longer," Steph says, grinning fondly. "She could use some unwinding."

"Unca!" shouts Loo, having spotted her hapless victim, and Hana turns and beams too. "Unca! Unca!" Then Sokka has two sturdy toddlers slamming into him and demanding attention, talking over each other excitedly and lapsing into twin every so often.

[notanoptimist.livejournal.com]

Which gives Sokka about half a second to wrinkle his nose at Mel's 'unwinding.'

Then he's in a twinpile, laughing and tossing Loo up in the air while Hana climbs up into his lap, switching them over and tossing Hana while Loo clambers up onto his shoulders and is shortly more of a jungle gym than a family member, really.

[alwaysroomforhope]

Steph thinks these shenanigans are best ever, and is perfectly content to sit and watch and tickle the occasional protruding limb.

The girls think Sokka is the best jungle gym EVER.

"Lookit me bend, Unca!" Loo demands eventually, disentangling herself and running back to the lightly scorched area where they've been practicing.

"No, mee!" Hana gives chase, climbing off Sokka's head and running so fast after Loo that she nearly falls over on her little baby butt.

"No meeeeee!"

"Meeeeeeee!"

Steph steals the opportunity to muss Sokka's hair up some more, giggling.

[notanoptimist.livejournal.com]

Sokka smirks and bats at his girlfriend's playful hands while his nieces scream at each other.

"I want to watch both of you!" he exclaims when his hair is safe again, grinning at the twins. "But I want to watch one at a time so I don't miss anything!"

He holds his arms out and nods for Hana to come to him. "C'mere, Tiny, let's let Bigger go first."

[alwaysroomforhope]

Hana beams, deciding that she's clearly getting the better deal here, and runs back to Sokka to tackle him and start trying to climb up his shoulders. Loo looks slightly pouty, but then realises that this means she gets to show off and promptly starts doing so. Complete with "HURR!" Firebending Noises.

Steph is laughing, half in and half out of Sokka's lap, and she slides down to avoid Hana's kicking legs and to watch Loo from a comfortable sprawl with her head on his legs. These are definitely the people she belongs with, the people who make her happiest, and Babs can just suck it up and deal. So there.