http://downsidedarling.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] downsidedarling.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] shatterverse2007-10-25 12:39 pm

(no subject)

Dreamer is cleaning bloodstains out of Shay's boat fort.

It's taking a lot longer than she thought.

Certainly long enough that she forgot why she started in the first place, but hey. Not like she has anything better to do.

Slosh. Clank. Scrubscrubscrub. Slosh.

This is oddly restful.

[identity profile] carefulwishes.livejournal.com 2007-10-26 10:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I was the only one who could do the right thing, Eden wants to say, but doesn't. Because what good is it? This isn't a competition, and she'd only have to explain.

"I mean...." But Eden doesn't explain what she means - she just makes a noise of frustration and grinds her teeth again.

[identity profile] carefulwishes.livejournal.com 2007-10-26 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh no, Eden thinks.

Because now she's making a fuss. Now she's being a bother. Now she's being self-centered. It's always about her, isn't it?

That surge of disappointment prompts a sniffle from Eden, then a soft clinging in return. The sniffle becomes a faint sob as Eden watches her tears blur the blue sky and the ship deck.

[identity profile] carefulwishes.livejournal.com 2007-10-26 10:42 pm (UTC)(link)
"I fucking hate this!" Eden snaps, pained and embarrassed and angry because of both those emotions.

She brushes her tears away. Mohinder has been through so much, and he never cried. Chandra and Mr. Bennet wouldn't cry. They're the ones that know how to do things.

Eden just...Eden doesn't even know what she does.

[identity profile] carefulwishes.livejournal.com 2007-10-26 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
She's twenty-six years old, she could be the mature one and organize house meetings and sleeping arrangments - but she's not. She's the one who steals crack to tell herself she's never going to use it. She's the one who hasn't spoken to someone who told her she was sick.

"I'm sorry," Eden says thickly, "'M not usually like this...."

Except she is, fuck it, she is. She sobs again, forcing herself to be quiet.

"," she admits.

[identity profile] carefulwishes.livejournal.com 2007-10-26 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
What she needs is someone to tell the truth to. That's her first thought and it's immediately dismissed.

"Is--" another sniffle, "-- is there someplace I can do this privately?"

[identity profile] carefulwishes.livejournal.com 2007-10-26 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)
"Aren't many cars," Eden says, just for something to talk about that's not her slowly unraveling.

She'll move wherever Dreamer leads her.

[identity profile] carefulwishes.livejournal.com 2007-10-26 11:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Eden keeps herself standing. She's not going to be Sarah and curl up on the bed and cry like when daddy and her stepmommy were fighting.

She is going to stand, goddamnit. Stand and wipe away her tears and feel like shit.

[identity profile] carefulwishes.livejournal.com 2007-10-26 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Eden hugs back, her body curling into Anna's. She still stands. She still wipes her tears and snot away (why stain Anna's clothes?). But the sobs are louder and the tears stronger.




When she's done, she feels wet and salty and sticky - and not in the way most people are wet and salty and sticky in the captain's bedroom.

She still feels quite shitty. Especially when she digs around in her pockets and comes up with nothing.

"," she mumbles. She swallows heavily. Then, slowly, she gives a teary smile. "'Course."

[identity profile] carefulwishes.livejournal.com 2007-10-27 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
*SNOOOOORT*

Blowing into Kleenexes is so attractive.

Eden mumbles her thanks.

[identity profile] carefulwishes.livejournal.com 2007-10-28 05:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Eden doesn't move. She stays close.

"I should--" she wipes her nose again, "-- wait a bit. Until my eyes look a bit better."

[identity profile] carefulwishes.livejournal.com 2007-10-28 05:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Eden knows she's used to living in her own head. She doesn't have a lot of reference points when it comes to other people.

Are other people freaking out about this? All she knows is her own reaction - and Anna's, now. The wishing, the longing. The pain of losing someone close. If she keeps catagorizing it, she can define it, trap these feelings in words so at least when they bother her they'll know what they are.

(It's all useless. It all means nothing.)

"Thanks," she repeats softly, leaning into Anna. "For all this. I-- I don't like being this way."

[identity profile] carefulwishes.livejournal.com 2007-10-28 05:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Eden falls silent, not wanting to think or speak or do much of anything despite the feeling that she should be doing all three. She just looks around the captain's bedroom, waiting until she feels like she can face the world again.

After a moment, she moves her arm to lightly rest around Anna's own waist.