Rachel (
theresnodoor) wrote in
shatterverse2009-02-16 11:45 am
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There's an interesting little group making their way toward the Cooper farm. It consists of three smallish dragons and what looks like an enormous ball of light.
No one's said much on the way back. For Rachel, it's out of frustration. They took it down and that's a victory, but they didn't get the father, the guy that started the whole thing, and that's making her tack it down as a failure.
But she'll mention that when they land.
No one's said much on the way back. For Rachel, it's out of frustration. They took it down and that's a victory, but they didn't get the father, the guy that started the whole thing, and that's making her tack it down as a failure.
But she'll mention that when they land.
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Somehow he makes a bad thing worse. He just said "you" instead of "we".
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Her glare becomes furious before she even manages to snap out, "I think I might have figured out how to fight by now, Tobias. This isn't even a war."
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<That's not what I meant,> he says calmly. Even if it was what he meant. <It's just that we don't know this world. These threats.> The thing is that they don't know how to fight here.
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You need to be more careful.
I love you for you. Not what you look like.
"Maybe I know more about this world and the threats in it because I've been paying attention to them. You didn't argue with me when I told you about this, so why are you arguing it now?"
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And the worst part is that he wasn't there to watch her back. That's what scares him the most. Her dying. Again. Leaving him. Again.
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She wouldn't say they were worse than anything that happened to her.
...not outloud.
Biting back that retort, Rachel glares at him, but it's softer now, more hesitant. She doesn't like where this is going, how they've been with each other, how he's been acting. But all the same, it isn't something she can ignore either.
"What do you want me to do?"
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He's not sure what he'll do if... when it happens all over again.
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She glares at him.
"I'm going back in. And again and again until this is done. This is what I do, Tobias."
It's like asking him to give up his wings, asking her not to fight.
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He takes a deep breath and morphs human.
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It's when she realizes he's morphing human that Rachel stares and finishes the question.
"What are you doing?"
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"It's part of..." why he loves her.
But the words he had planned to say are gone. He doesn't know how to explain how scared he is deep down. How much changed when he lost her. And then when he found her again.
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But none of it explains why he's human in front of her.
Guarded, confused, Rachel waits for him to finish.
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After a moment, Rachel presses her lips together and takes a breath. But her words still come out softly, almost a whisper.
"Why do you keep asking me questions you already know the answer to?"
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It almost hurts to say.
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Right now, she doesn't want him to see it.
"You know the answers," she tells him, voice stiff and defensive. "I'm the same person I was at thirteen, at sixteen. I haven't changed."
He keeps expecting her to, just because their surroundings are different.
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"You're..." he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "You're just like I remember." Full of life and fury and the inability to quit.
"I'm the one who changed." Whether he means being a hawk or aging without her... it's not clear. Maybe he doesn't know.
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He's older than she is, he's changed, and maybe he's left behind the things that-- don't fit anymore.
Rachel swallows and her bravery fails her. For a moment, her gaze flickers to the side of him, to the trees, the grass, anything but his eyes. "So what?" she demands, and would deny anyone who said her voice was hoarse.
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"I'm afraid..." he chokes on the rest. He can't say it. Can't admit it.
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Quickly, fast, rip it off like a band-aid and maybe whatever it is he has to say won't hurt as bad as she's afraid it might.
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Rachel swallows hard and looks away. They could have chosen a better place to do this than the farm, but at least they're a good distance from the farm.
"I haven't moved," she says after a moment, and makes her voice loud - defensive bravado in place of confidence, looking up at him with a glare in place of anything else that might appear in her eyes. "You can't lose me."
The only way he'll lose her is if he walks away himself.
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But then, maybe it is for him. Tobias has options, two morphs he feels at home in, he could find someone else. It's easy to fall in love with him - Rachel knows that.
But her?
She swallows again - her throat is tightening and it's getting harder and harder to do it. But she still manages to speak, manages not to make her voice break. "No one's making you stay with me."
She doesn't want to be just another disappointment in his life, just one more person that wasn't good enough for him.
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