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So you might have noticed there's a big ol' robot parked out back of the bunker at the Cooper farm. It's large and green and looks very battered.

Approach it, and one of two things happens.

Either you came during the day, and Val Bell is sitting on its head with a good book and a bowl of apples, or you came during the evening or night and it is apparently deserted. 'Apparently' being the key word.

What'll it be?

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"Yeah... here, anyhow. Dunno if it's much good t'me anywhere else."

Logically: "Anywhere there's people who write."

"Most o' the time, I ain't dealin' with folks that write, much. Or it's somethin' I don't wanna read."

It's really not in her best interests to be able to read and comprehend things like "klatuu barada nikto" or "Cthulhu ftaghn" when she could be spending her time assaulting the people who can.

"Eh. Still, you're here now, right? This way you won't have to get somebody to tell you what's on the noticeboards and shit."

Not that Val pays the slightest attention to said noticeboards, but it's the principle of the thing.

"Yeah, that was kinda... why I started learnin'." Sheep sheep!

"Hope I can get t'where I can teach Ralph, too."

Ralph is more interested in the apples. They are red! Yay red!

Shrug.

Val... is pretty much ignoring the kid.

Okay, no, he's after her apples; now she has to deal with him.

By offering him and Sonia an apple each, with tentacles.

She can't be completely un-paranoid, so Sonia plucks Ralph's apple out of the tentacle first to inspect it briefly before handing it over.

He happily gums it.

"...thanks. Uh, what's it you do, anyhow?"

"Huh? I'm a superhero, I guess."

"A wha?"

Val thinks of a good definition.

"...I find people who're doing evil things and hit them until they stop."

OMGYEYBFF.

"Really? Me, too!"

:DDDD

"An' Ralph, when he can."

Right now the worst he can do is possibly drool on them.

"Yeah?"

She casts the kid a dubious look.

"Me and some buddies are gonna go lay into this shithead who's building churches out of people sometime. When we figure out where he fucked off to. You want in?"

OMGWTFBBQ

"Churches out of people?!"

"Yep. And trust me, it was even grosser than it sounds."

She crosses herself.

Huh, haven't done that outside of church in a long time.

"Lord have mercy on us. Yeah, I'm in. That's... that's just blasphemous!"

"That's one way to put it," Val agrees.

Normally she'd say she's all for a little blasphemy, but... churches. Made of people.

Yeah.

Sonia is not for any amount of blasphemy.

She is definitely for putting her boot in the face of evil. (And other parts of evil. Especially the squishy parts with nerve endings.)

"You fought him before?"

"Not the guy himself, but I was handing out asskick to his creepy minions for a while. Ripped the heart out of his flesh castle, too, which is a lot grosser than it sounds."

Dang, girl, you hardcore!

Is what Sonia's approving look is saying.

"Anything y'can tell me about 'em, I'd be obliged. That way, we could, y'know, stock up."

She's thinking assloads of holy water and garlic.

"Well, from the general theme of 'creepy things made out of flesh and bone' I'm betting they've got somebody who can mess around with that kind of shit. A... dunno what you'd call 'em, flesh sculptor I guess? Probably more than one. It was a big church. And they had a monster the size of a house that looked like what would happen if you took twenty different kinds of animal, rolled 'em up into a ball, and melted them together. I mentioned it was disgusting, right?"

She nods. "Yeah, seen that sorta thing. Not that big, thanks be t'God. Golems 'n' all... Nothin' else? Wolves, bats, skeletons, sorta thing?"

"Nah, none'a that shit. Just creepy minion guys, creepy church, big melty monster."

"Sounds pretty simple. Might not even need much holy water." You always need SOME holy water. "Just plain ol' sorcery."

She tickles Ralph's belly. "Figure I better leave this one home, though. He ain't old enough for that stuff yet." Better to wait until he can at least hold a whip and throw some subweapons.

"Yeah, sounds like a plan to me."

It's hard to tell which statement she's agreeing with, there. Perhaps that's because she is agreeing with both.

"Lemme know when y'need me. I'm kinda ready whenever." Or at least after she grabs a babysitter.

"Good thing this come up after I had him... I can fit in my armor again."